'Dancing With the Stars' kicked off Season 19 with a fancy new opening number and its first ever YouTube star. Because there were 13 contestants and only two hours, the show didn't waste any time on small talk, diving right into the performances.

Even new fourth judge Julianne Hough was barely introduced except for an acknowledgment of her, shall we say, 'extremely low cut' dress? 'Now we go to our newest addition to the judging panel who clearly is bursting with enthusiasm,' co-host Tom Bergeron said at the top of the show as Julianne just laughed.

And though 'DWTS' made a lot of fuss about her joining the show, Julianne didn't really say or do anything particularly memorable except toss off a few puns. If anything, her presence made everything feel more rushed, as four judges meant there was less time for each person to talk - and we know how much Carrie Ann Inaba, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli love to talk.

Here's our rankings for the premiere, including which contestant has the most compelling storyline. (Oh and if you bet 'about 30 seconds' for how long it would take Lolo Jones to tell the cameras she's waiting until marriage to have sex? Congrats, you won.) RANK: 1 RANK: 2 RANK: 3 RANK: 4 RANK: 5 RANK: 6 RANK: 7 RANK: 8

Antonio Sabato Jr./Cheryl Burke (Cha cha, judge score: 6, 6, 6, 7 for a total of 25 points) Occupation: Actor/modelAge: 42Best known for: ABC's 'General Hospital' Performance: Len harped on his footwork (something about how he clearly has dancing in his blood, but it hasn't reached his feet). Julianne agreed it was flat-footed, though complimented his dazzling smile. Storyline: Overcome his 'sex symbol' status to become an actual competitor - no matter what Cheryl tells him during rehearsal, the judges want more than just his beautiful face. RANK: 9

Janel Parrish/Val Chmerkovskiy (Jive, judge score: 7, 7, 7, 8 for a total of 29 points) Occupation: ActressAge: 25Best known for: Playing tragically creepy Mona on ABC Family's 'Pretty Little Liars'Performance: Bruno called it 'spicy hot chili' and compared Janel to J-Lo. Carrie declared that she had great potential, and even Len was pleased at how she fared on week one. Julianne called her 'sharp, raw, sexy and fierce.'Storyline: The love-hate banter between her and Val that the producers are clearly trying to turn into flirtation - but maybe not since Val said Janel has as much swag as his grandma. RANK: 10 RANK: 11

Lolo Jones/Keo Motsepe (Cha cha, judge score: 6, 6, 5, 5 for a total of 22 points) Occupation: Olympic athlete (track and field, bobsled)Age: 32Best known for: Competing in track and field at the 2012 Summer Olympics and making the bobsled team at the 2014 Winter Olympics. She's also become famous for sharing many details about her personal life.Performance: Pretty bad - even Lolo pronounced it 'awful.' In fact, she barely let the judges talk as she interrupted to explain that something went wrong in the beginning and she never got her footing back. Though she offered enough bold personality that she has an equal shot of a) scaring off the voting audience b) intriguing people to want more.Storyline: Can she be sexy...if she's never had sex?! 'I'm one of the rare people who is waiting to have sex til they're married,' Lolo explained to Keo in rehearsals, explaining why she might have trouble with 'intimate' dances. (Keo agreed that since 'she hasn't been that close to a man before,' they would have a lot of work to do.) RANK: 12

Betsey Johnson/Tony Dovolani (Cha cha, judge score: 5, 5, 5, 5 for a total of 20 points)Occupation: DesignerAge: 72Best known for: Her stores with high-end quirky clothes and accessories.Performance: Fine and then awkward. She was supposed to do a trick with a feather boa at the end, but it got stuck on her foot and she defaulted to her famous cartwheel and splits that she does at the end of fashion shows. The judges seemed genuinely sorry that things went awry, as Len called it very entertaining.Storyline: The eccentric grandma who loves doing the splits and really loves the Mirror Ball Trophy - even if she's far from the most talented.

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