Hot News: 'Game of Thrones' season 4, episode 3 recap: Thieves and beggars

No one escaped the darkness tonight on Game of Thrones season 4, episode 3. Check out our recap and share your thoughts on 'Breaker of Chains.'

Here's what happened on Game of Thrones season 4, episode 3, 'Breaker of Chains.' Out of the frying pan

As Joffrey lies dead in her arms, Cersei screams for the guards to arrest Tyrion and Sansa - but suddenly, no one knows where Sansa is.

Except Ser Dontos, who hustles Sansa out of King's Landing and onto a ship in the Blackwater. Luckily, Sansa has one more friend remaining - Petyr Baelish, who is now Irish, and has orchestrated Sansa's escape.

To Sansa's horror, Dontos gets a crossbow bolt to the face in return for his aid. Littlefinger reminds Sansa that everyone in King's Landing is a liar. Even her necklace is a lie - it was crafted by Littlefinger only months ago. Kings and things

A glum Margaery reviews the disaster of her wedding with the Queen of Thorns. Margaery is not the queen, but Lady Olenna is rather cheerful - the Lannisters still need their alliance, and 'the next one will be easier.'

In the Great Sept, Cersei and Tommen (aka, 'the next one') stand vigil over Joffrey. Tywin instructs Tommen on what kind of king he should be; it takes Tommen a while to get the answer Tywin is looking for - wise - but hey, he just started studying for his Kingship SATs.

It doesn't really matter, though - by default, Tommen will be a more easily manipulated better king than Joffrey. Tommen's day improves when Tywin gives him Sex Ed on the way out of the Sept. Tragedy

Jaime enters, sending away the septons. He and Cersei discuss about sibling stuff - she is convinced that Tyrion is the poisoner, and begs Jaime to kill him. Jaime refuses, but the two share a brief tender moment and a kiss.

But when Cersei pulls away, Jaime... well, he sort of goes crazy. 'You are a hateful woman,' he growls at her, as she leans over their dead son. 'Why have the gods made me love a hateful woman?'

Jaime then rapes Cersei on the floor of Baelor's Sept, as she begs him to stop. It's... quite possibly the worst thing this show has ever done, and we are rather appalled.

So let's move on. The way things are

In the Riverlands, Arya and Sandor Clegane pretend to be father and daughter to spend the night at the house of a farmer and his young girl. Though Clegane is brutal and rude, he agrees to stay and work for the farmer, in exchange for hidden silver.

Arya wakes up the next morning to a scream - Clegan has beaten the farmer and taken the silver. She is furious at his rebuff of their kindness; he replies that the farmer is weak, and that he and his daughter will be dead by Winter.

'I just understand the way things are,' Clegane growls, in response to Arya's rage. A terrible honeymoon

Sam is concerned about Gilly remaining in Castle Black, surrounded by so many lecherous Black Brothers. He arranges for the girl and her son to live in Molestown, a nearby hamlet filled with whores and misery.

This arrangement makes both Sam and Gilly miserable. That's partly because Molestown sucks, and partly because Gilly assumes Sam wants to get rid of her, while Sam feels useless for being unable to protect Gilly at Castle Black.

Maybe they would feel better if they hooked up. Making bank

Stannis attributes Joffrey's death to Melisandre's leeches, and is desperate to attack King's Landing. The timing would be ideal, if only he had one of those army-things. Davos floats the idea of hiring the Golden Company - a renowned troupe of sellswords - but Stannis objects both ideologically, and with his empty purse.

Davos continues his adorable reading lessons with Princess Shireen, who gives him a book to read about Braavos. Davos is struck with an idea, and dictates a letter to Shireen - from Stannis - to the world's most infamous money lenders: the Iron Bank of Braavos. The enemy of my enemy

Tywin interrupts Oberyn Martell's latest orgy. He accuses Oberyn (who knows his way around lethal poison) of murdering Joffrey, and Oberyn accuses Tywin of Elia's murder. Tywin blames Gregor Clegane; Oberyn wants to 'speak' with the Mountain.

Tywin then asks Oberyn to be the third judge in Tyrion's trial, and offers him a seat on the Small Council. With threats mounting against the Seven Kingdoms, Tywin needs the loyalty and skill of Dorne on his side.

'You help me serve justice to the king's assassins,' Tywin promises the prince, 'And I will help you serve justice to Elia's.' A friend in deed

Podrick Payne visits Tyrion in his cell. The trial is in a fortnight, but Pod loyally believes in Tyrion's innocence.

Tyrion does not think Sansa is guilty, though her disappearance is suspicious. The only person Tyrion really believes is innocent of the murder is Cersei - which, he muses, 'makes it unique, as King's Landing murders go.'

Tyrion wants to call Varys and Bronn as his witnesses, but they are barred to him. Pod admits that men tried to bribe him to testify against Tyrion; he would never consider it, but Tyrion warns him that he will probably be forced to do so, one way or another.

Tyrion makes Podrick swear that Pod will not die on Tyrion's behalf, and orders him away from King's Landing. Tearfully, Podrick leaves his master behind. Wild

Ygritte, Tormund, and the Thenns slaughter a village south of the Wall, leaving only one boy alive to carry the news to Castle Black.

At the Wall, Alliser Thorne and Maester Aemon decide not to send men to protect the smallfolk. The Watch numbers barely 100 men, and they cannot let anyone abandon their post. Pyp wants to help defend the smallfolk, but Jon points out that if Mance Raider breaches the Wall, everyone in the South is screwed anyway.

But then, several brothers stagger back to the Wall from Craster's Keep, where Karl and the other betrayers have holed up with food and women. Jon reverses his position from earlier, and declares that they must ride out from Castle Black to deal with the mutineers.

'Mance has all he needs to crush us,' Jon says. 'He just doesn't know it yet.' The only thing keeping Mance from attacking is his belief that it is manned by a thousand men - a notion of which he will be swiftly disabused when he finds and questions the former Brothers. Piss and vinegar

Daenerys and her army arrive at Meereen, where they are met by 'the Champion of Meereen.' He shouts insults at her and pisses in her direction. Dany allows Daario Naharis to act as her champion. He declines to use a horse.

The Great Masters and their slaves watch as the Champion of Meereen mounts his horse and thunders at Daario, holding an absurdly long lance. Daario winks at Dany and stands motionless until the rider is nearly upon him; then Daario throws a dagger through the horse's brain, and beheads the Champion with his arakh. When the dust clears, Daario pisses at the city. Unbound

Dany then gives a speech - not to the Masters, but to their slaves. She tells them of Astapor and Yunkai, free in her wake. 'I am not your enemy,' she says. 'Your enemy is beside you... I bring you a choice, and I bring your enemies what they deserve.'

Dany orders her trebuchets fired into the city; massive barrels fly through the air and crash against the stone. With shock and awe, the slaves of Meereen realize that Dany has sent them manacles and collars - unlocked, unbound, and free. What do you think of the moral madness on tonight's 'Game of Thrones'?





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